Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Are we still banned from the library?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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