I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
