My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize