I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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