I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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