yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
