Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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