we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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