walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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