my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
