i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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