I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
