When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
