i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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