I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
