I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
3pm strippers are depressing
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
