We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
