you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
