i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
