I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You can't special order awesome
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just high enough for therapy.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
