im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
