That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I cannot find my penis.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
