i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
