? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
