And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
