Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
