Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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