i think my tv is drunk
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
