I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
