What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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