My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
