people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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