Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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