How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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