We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
