Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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