Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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