Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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