I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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