stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
