my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
