4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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