The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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