All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
