Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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