I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
