How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
