just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
