Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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