you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
