So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
