Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
