Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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