I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
